I now recognize the Senator from Idaho...Trigger

Everyone is commenting on Senator Craig's behavior, and I must now add my two cents. While I don't condone lewd behavior (at least not in an airport bathroom, with an undercover cop...unless she's hot), my bigger problem is that the messages he sent were recognized as signals used by persons wishing to engage in lewd behavior.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/08/27/craig.arrest/index.html#cnnSTCText

There are recognized signals for wishing to engage in lewd behavior? And they involve tapping a foot? How many times have I sent lewd messages...wait...this kind of lewd message, and not known it? And who, aside from showbiz horses (not the Shelley Long kind, the Trigger kind), communicates by stomping a foot? Was this signal originally used to communicate a wish to engage in lewd behavior with a horse? Given that, who really is surprised that this happened to the Senator from Idaho?

The real-life followup questions that I wish to ask:

1) What was the next day at work like?

2) Did you feel the need to pull a Tom Selleck or Mike Piazza and hold a press conference stating you are allegedly not gay?

3) Not that I need to know other than to make sure I avoid these, but where/how did you learn these recognized signs?

4) Earlier in the alleged day, did the Senator get a fortune cookie stating: "Man peeing in stall is best to pee alone?"

My Grandfather always told me that real-life is the best teacher. I guess the subject really doesn't matter.

College Smarts, Part 1

With autumn soon approaching, a man's fancies turn toward that one genetic craving that all men share: football. Sadly, at least for us in the upper Mid-West, more specifically those of us who got into college, a lot of the games will be on the Big 11 (10) Network. More specifically, they will be broadcast solely on DirecTV, as the other main providers have not reached agreements with the BTN.

I recently asked Dish Network about this, and they replied with:

"For several months, DISH Network has been diligently negotiating with BTN to obtain a carriage agreement consistent with other regional sports networks, but BTN wants unreasonable and inconsistent payments from all of our customers regardless of whether or not they are Big Ten fans. The good news is that DISH Network customers who are Big Ten fans will get most of their games with the current channels available on DISH Network – at no additional cost."

Let me get this right - I pay a portion of my bill each month for such networks as TBN, HGTV, Lifetime and BYU, and I have never watched them (except for the Golden Girls Marathon on Lifetime - but I have never watched Lifetime Movie!). Not only have I never watched them - I never plan to, unless my genitalia grows inward and/or I decide that polygamy is the way to go. Maybe I can trade those channels in for BTN? Maybe I can trade 3 of the Mexican/Telemundo channels in for 1 American channel? Will that work conversion-wise, or does it depend on the strength of the peso?

The facts are simple: Dish Network and Comcast argue that they shouldn't charge the entire nation to watch something that only 1 region (about 20% of the nation is Big 10 county, unless you are Tim Brewster, then this great nation of our's is/will be a Gopher Nation) wants, but they have no problem charging the nation for a channel only a few backwards Utuckians want in the BYU network.

And Big 10 Network - You are not innocent here either. Stop holding your fans hostage. Set up an agreement with reimbursement based on regional membership and ratings. If no one watches - you don't get paid. The more people watch, the more you get paid. Either way, you get paid what you are worth.

The bigger question is this: Which will fold first, a side in the BTN-Cable/Satellite negotiations, or the Gopher football team?

Is It Really "Slumming" If She Has $600 Million?

With every new day, there is a new Britney Spears story. I like this. For all her faults, she is still very attractive. In fact, I think that she may be more attractive because of them. Back in the day, when she just turned 18 (she wasn't officially hot until then...), she was way out of my league. Do you know how hard it is on a guy when a girl is so far out of his league that she turns him down in his fantasies? But now, with her recent craziness, I might be slumming if we ever got together. But is it really slumming if she has $600,000,000? I think not. Gold-digging? Maybe, but she was, if not is, a sex-symbol, so it's not that either.

Of course, if a hookup was going to take place, I would need a full-body condom, like the one used in Naked Gun.

First Posting...and Elderly Drivers

Welcome to the Angry Jew Daily! Despite the name, this is a site with no religious affiliation. My goal is simply to have a forum where I can sound off on what bugs me in society, and see if anyone reads it. Occasionally, I will also discuss sports, 80's & 90's sitcoms, and news articles.

Grandma - I love you, but give me the car keys.

For the first post, I will look into a group of people that have bugged me for years...elderly drivers. This is by no means meant as a slam on all elderly people, just an accurate depiction of what I have seen in the world today. Old people are usually the cause of most slow-downs in traffic (that and people on cell phones), and I don't get it. What are they doing outside during the day? Isn't Matlock on? Don't they have African-American chauffeurs like in Driving Miss Daisy? I am all about people living life to the fullest, except when those people delay me living my life to the fullest. Perhaps we can find a way to co-exist in society - I will avoid driving near their eating establishments around 4:30 when they go an eat dinner, and they will do all their driving between the hours of 9:00 am and 11:00 am, or 1:00 pm and 5:00 pm. I know this seems like a hassle, but it should save me from hours of getting stuck behind them.

Also, what is going on with the people I see driving everywhere talking on cell phones? Do you really have that much going on in your life where you don't have any time to communicate with your friends, except for that time when you are directing a 2-ton missile near me? Is it too hard to even use a hands-free set so you could have at least full control of your missile/car...even if it's a distracted full control? I would worry more about the backlash from this post if it wasn't for their short attention spans, coupled with this item being at the end of the post.

What group of people bugs you?